The Negotiator

Use when — you’re about to negotiate anything — a raise, an offer, a contract — and the plan is to “see how it feels” in the room.

Write three numbers before you walk in: your reservation price (the exact point where no-deal beats deal), your target (ambitious but defensible, with a reason you can say out loud), and your opening ask. A floor you only feel gets negotiated away in real time — and you won’t notice it sliding.

✓Done when — Reservation price, target, and opening ask are three distinct numbers on paper, and you can give the one-sentence reason behind your target.

Malhotra & Bazerman, “Negotiation Genius” — reservation value from your BATNA; Fisher, Ury & Patton, “Getting to Yes”.

Use when — you feel weak going in and you’re tempted to spend prep time rehearsing tough talk.

Your only honest leverage is your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement — what you’ll actually do if this deal dies. So raise it: get the second quote, line up the backup supplier, open the parallel conversation. A real alternative survives the question “and if we say no?” A bluff dies on it.

✓Done when — You have at least one concrete alternative you’d actually take, and you can name what it’s worth.

Fisher, Ury & Patton, “Getting to Yes” (BATNA); Deepak Malhotra, “Negotiating the Impossible”.

Use when — you can feel tension, frustration, or pressure in the room and it’s blocking the deal.

Name the emotion you sense, prefaced with “it seems like” or “it sounds like” — never “I think” or “you feel.” A third-person frame lands as an observation they can correct, not an accusation they must defend.

✓Done when — You named the emotion in a third-person frame, and they either confirmed or corrected it — either way you learned something real.

Chris Voss, “Never Split the Difference” (2016) — labeling / tactical empathy.

Use when — they’re guarded, and you need genuine buy-in before anyone will move.

String their facts and feelings into a short summary of their whole situation — in their words, not your pitch — then let them respond. You’re hunting for “that’s right,” the sign they feel truly understood. Don’t settle for “you’re right,” which usually means they want you to stop talking.

✓Done when — They said “that’s right” (or an unmistakable equivalent) to your summary of their position — not “you’re right,” and not a hollow “yes.”

Chris Voss, “Never Split the Difference” (2016) — “that’s right” vs “you’re right.”

Use when — you’re giving ground across several rounds and you don’t want them to think there’s plenty more.

Plan your concessions as a descending staircase, not a slide. €4K, then ~€2K, then ~€800, then ~€200. The shrinking size signals you’re running out of room far more credibly than any speech. Two equal concessions in a row — or a bigger one than the last — quietly tells them the well is still deep.

✓Done when — Your remaining concessions are written as a descending sequence with a hard floor at the bottom, and you can say where each one stops.

Leigh Thompson, “The Mind and Heart of the Negotiator” (concession signalling).

Use when — you’re asking for a raise and you’ve quietly absorbed work well beyond your title over the last year.

Spend the first half of the meeting establishing the expanded role you’re already carrying — then anchor your number to that role’s market band, not a percentage on top of your current salary. Ask for a bump on your current title and you’ve conceded the title is the right reference point, which caps you at a 3–5% merit nudge.

✓Done when — Your manager has restated the role you’re doing in their own words, and the number on the table is benchmarked to that role.

Galinsky, Ku & Mussweiler (2009) — first offers explain 50–85% of the variance in outcomes; anchor to the right reference point.